This is a welcome back to me. I have not written in so long I forgot I actually had a blog. Funny that. So much has happened between now and then and so many times I thought "I need to blog about this..." but then I did not. I regret that.
I think anxiety finally got me back here. Today I made an offer on a house. It will most likely be rejected, I came in low. Yet the hours after I put ion the offer have been filled with anxiety, dread, much number crunching, some stomach acid, and a wee bit total insanity. The mortgage broker is sending me e-mails of epic lengths with various financial scenarios. I keep trying to figure out why I thought I had enough money to do this, and in-between, my BFF is advising to simply hold tight, wait for a response and understand that this may not be "THE ONE." How do people do this?
The BFF is a former real estate agent. She has seen this insanity play out hundreds of times. She knows from where she speaks. I just want to know I won't be bankrupt and in debt. I just want to find a house that I can finally call my own again after almost 8 years of renting. A home for me and my little one, now 5 years old. A home in which to grow my family. A home where I don't worry if I put too many nails in the walls or paint said walls any color I would like. A home in the town where I have friends, community, and sidewalks so we can walk where ever we would like because EVERYTHING in this town is in walking distance.
I am a single mom. I work 2 jobs. I have saved money for almost 8 years waiting for this moment. I wanted this. Yet now that is is here, renting is looking awful good again. They say that buying/selling a home is one of life's most stressful events. They weren't kidding. Breathe, I say over and over. Just breathe.Even just a little bit helps.
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