Climate Control for your Vagina!

I completely understand that "feminine hygiene" products (code for pads & tampons because we know how much more pleasant feminine hygiene sounds) have evolved over the decades since I first got my period. I have even appreciated some of these advances like the thin maxi pad and the individually wrapped maxi pad. I was overjoyed when using a maxi pad no longer felt like having a twin mattress adhesed to my bikini underwear (back when I could get away with bikini underwear). I consider myself blessed to have escaped the years when a pad actually had long tabs and you wore a belt to which you attached the tabs. That does not sound comfortable. I have been perplexed by pads with tabs, pads with wings, overnight pads, and even pads shaped for a thong. I swear I saw one with a bib once but I may have been hallucinating while being sleep deprived at home with my infant son.  I have been outraged as the size of pads got smaller, the price went up and the quantity in each bag went down. But never, ever, in my 31 years of Aunt Flow from Red Bank, the red menace, that time of the month, my friend, my monthly, or menstruation did I ever think that my vagina would need climate control compliments of my thin maxi pad. Yes, you read that right. The last time I had my period, which thanks to the Pill is only every now and again, I casually reached for the bag of pads only to notice that - gasp! my pad of choice also offers me "thermo control." Apparently, this very pad which also promises me "super absorbency" can also keep me, or really my vagina, dry, cool and comfortable! Wow! Who new that my menstruating vagina needed an HVAC system! How have I lived up until now without a dry, cool, and comfortable vagina? I have visions of my vaginal temperature spiking and a small, whirring fan blowing cool, dry air to bring it back to a cool, dry and comfortable state. It boggles my mind when I think of the possibilities of what might follow this amazing and completely unnecessary development. Perhaps my pads will someday have a timing device that will sound a vaguely pleasant but still attention getting alarm, alerting me it's time to change my pad? Or maybe I can get an app for my phone that will signal changing time or a spike in vaginal temperature? Wait, I don't have a smart phone so that would be a waste. Anywho, I just thought that women everywhere would want to know about this latest "feminine hygiene technology" because God knows, there are not enough people out there telling us what to do with our vaginas (note: spellcheck on my blog site just alerted me that vaginas - vagina plural is not recognized). Why not manage vaginal climate too?