Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Let's Do Lunch

Reverb11 Day 18: If you could have lunch with anybody, who would it be and what would you discuss?

So many people flashed through my mind: Eleanor Roosevelt, Katherine Hepburn, Michelle Obama, Ann Lamott, and many other articulate, amazing, daring women before I quickly settled on the one and only choice, my mother.

My mom died when I was 17 years old after a 6-month stay in the hospital. I was a senior in high school, applying to college, falling in love, hanging out with my friends, eating in diners, going to prom  and doing other important 17-year old stuff. Then, she died. And everything changed and I have grown up (supposedly), come out, fallen in love, gotten married, ridden the fertility train, had a miscarriage, got a divorce, started all over, adopted my son, reached the ripe age of 43 (6 years younger than her when she died) and other important stuff. All without my mother.

So that is what I would talk about - everything that has happened since I was 17. I have often wondered how she would have reacted to these life events. Would she have supported me as I came out? Would she have liked, or perhaps, loved my former partner? Would she have supported my family-building choices? Would she love this precious boy who does not look like our family as fiercely as I do? I would ask her about her choices in life, her relationship with my dad, her fierce love of her friends, and many, many parenting questions. Maybe over lunch she could teach me to crochet (I still have the blanket she crocheted for me when I was very little).

It would be a long lunch and maybe if I were lucky we could stretch it into dinner and than dessert. Maybe she'd not want to leave, and we could have a sleepover and breakfast.

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